Pumpkin Dessert in a wink


ink and pencil on paper


the Recipe:
fresh pumpkin
sugar (brown+jelly)
coarsely chopped walnuts 

1-slice the pumpkin
2- place slices in a baking dish
3-cover with sugar
4- bake (±) 30 min  at 200 °C      
stir it once   and   bake until soft
it’s ready
add the chopped walnuts on top
cool it down or  cold
*served with kaymak (buffalo cream)

for a capricious friend who doesn’t like birthday presents but drawings
for a capricious friend who doesn’t like chocolates but pumpkin seeds
for a capricious pumpkin who does not like to be eaten before being rendered in various ways

Augmented Irradiations # 2 (AIR)




ImanginaryLandscape1_2 with added contrast

AIR#2-2  – with added contrast

An awareness exercise -series by Aline – ink and pencil

A quote by  John Cage on Imaginary Landscapes
“It’s not a physical landscape. It’s a term reserved for the new technologies. It’s a landscape in the future. It’s as though you used technology to take you off the ground and go like Alice through the looking glass.”

20 cents! a poem by L’alin



as the long coated tall man digressed
a spinning coin became her translucent globe
permitting a time stretch
until a decision was made

the rhythm of spinning
arched her doubts
to a half smiling one armed body
that could pick it up remotely but promptly
in public space

an alluring method of an actress knowing the stage
unhearing unseeing her spectators
while permeating the act
through their matter

this last adorably nonchalant grin
hanging the mouth half up and half down
spilled the words: ‘so this one is for me then!’

when the long coated man loomed
she was already holding it firm in her right palm
extraneous blushing thoughts with a long narrative
of giving it back
raised thousand  rehearsals as polluted air
in shorter than a minute of turning the head to fixate

and dissipated

before the  trash could handle the reforming flush
I reached out for her help
with my puppet headedness
come on I said what is 20 cents
preserve it to recycle for my lucky star at least
she, relieved  nodded
and placed the coin in a front section of her whistling memory
which finally today tinkled and jingled a street musician’s ultroneous hat

Three Teachers

I met three teachers yesterday
three unforgettable ones

one reminded me why I am here
one reminded me why I forget I am here
the last one is …will be…with me until I am

all are – meant to be  for this – and
from this lifetime

those that will linger on –
linger on eventually
as one

first one showed me why I am doing what I am doing
why in essence I started with such a practice
why I embody what I embody
why I chose to get lost in detail
why I be like a devotee to its technology-
a lover at times
and the true method of extending it through your life
learning to adjust my life around it
my life story… moulding around it
you should take that route in learning –
let your  physical self experience-
as we are here for that reason-
experience by our bodies-
challenge limited  selves’ perception- and eventually freedom –  freedom of creation

after the lesson I was cycling- became the lightness of the wind- half here- half pushing the ambience – as if the whole world shaped and reshaped around me by that cycling – which said – we are here to create- create just – we are here to listen to that subtle loving sound coming from inside- listen listen to that just – there is nothing else to hear- except that silence of knowing – all will pass-

I heard me say ‘I love you’…for a moment but no … I will only see you when I am as good as my love for you –
I did not mind about the maths that an objective part of the poor  mind starts calculating repeatedly to tell me : ‘ but that equals to one! ‘-
I observe her observations and let it be her business just- not of my concern I say firm – and watch my legs without looking –

watch how they cycle- how on earth could they all of a sudden get such power while an hour ago they were complaining ?- so then listen to the music just – enjoy where there is no resistance-
it is of course the network that works – makes my legs a collective part of its wholeness – when my motor is this music I have nothing else to do – just listen – I go by its rhythm – and play the challenging game of ‘not touching autumn leaves with my wheels’
while the new golden colored ones whirl  curl and fall down like crystals –

I reckon  these ones are on my side – just good omens to support my game because they are a part of this game mainly by creating a clink-clunq in my mind –
like the clapping music – yes I am listening to Steve Reich’s music for 18 musicians- can’t have enough of it- knowing opposites reside on one wheel just-

The subject that you are studying is for a purer reason than the subject itself or its valuable techniques – these are tools that helps you  climb the mountain-  so go around it dancingly as a valuable method – of course you may need to be its humble disciple that aims to be an excellence for its teaching however the excellence is always for the meditation that you will pursue for your soul reason without any attachment- there is no other reason than that  –
for ‘why you are here’ there is no discipline , belief system , a thing,  object , no nothing-
All that you see – touch- feel are temporary all that you have is you and
obviously you already know all  (all that you think  you don’t know)
otherwise how would you know that you don’t know!

Well  we are learning a method of communication here …she says – you can race by an accelerating train or become a child cycling in the same rhythm as that old man with a shirt made of the clouds – yes you can follow him – for a while just – slow down for a while just –  

and that brings me different greens from the fields which I have never seen before –
until he turns right to another road- until our roads diverge – until I have to speed up again to surpass that train – not to show off- but for fun
so that everyone else in this universe will be able to race a train with their bikes –
I was looking for an ingenious method how to pass a train by my bike –

only then I remembered  –  I am late
maybe without carrying time – my appointments – all planned by me and me and only then
the train became a train and disappeared –

I was a girl now with a bike – early morning – suddenly having gone too far – and she unknowingly found herself in the middle of nowhere-
and I made a turn against the wind-
as gravity started capturing my body – thoughts reappeared with lingering complaints:

at least take a flower from that road – pick one of these white ones- stop now- she said stop – but no – I ignored her-
slowly fight came into the scene- I recognized but ignored- calling up agendas, tasks, appointments making the fight stronger : knowingly – unknowingly- knowingly- ignoringly and found the shortcut back home

but just at that point
a miraculously unusual pink flower manifested itself and made me stop at once .

Yes I am for you! she said
Yes it is for me I repeated  – not to analyze further
and at once ran to pick it up

Oh that charming spirit…
It did not happen though  at once –  
it was a sign
but I have damaged it already

I realized what I’ve done
the flower was there to teach me a lesson
about things that I forget
about bliss that shows up which I can ignore afterwards
how do I ignore a truth in exchange of shadowing thoughts?!?
the learned stuff, the frights …be manipulated by these
and even do my big mistakes ?

I have always asked permission from the flower before picking a flower
I have never picked a flower this way before
After this act I wonder how could I turn it back , make it better, change or ask for help
would there be a method to …Other flowers of the same type a few meters away greeted me and said not to worry

but I was worried and could not accept it until the teachings arrived before the midnight

they say :
the flower appeared to teach you not to forget your reasons
understand that even at most impossible times “of bliss”
once you forget that bliss / your WHYs/ yourSELF
you may forget until you won’t forget i.e bliss is not a state 
it is the self
acknowledge what you call ‘mistake’ in humbleness
and even you can mistake the faulty self inside of you to a flower
the faulty inside of you using the image of a flower makes you believe be/do something that you could have never been
eventually No! there is no one out there who will be able to cure by any method to undo what you have done today /
it is not meant to return time  

it is meant to awaken wisdom which has answers to your question
this happened because you should  learn to heal that happening yourself
by learning to offer these thoughtS to a fire – the flower doesn’t mind

the flower was there to be a part of that moment of bliss – to gift it back to you by its appearance

Yes it was for you just but not to be picked up or touched – the flower was there to heal you just by its way of manifestation
the flower was there to make a part of the memory of that bliss that you at once could choose to forget – the flower was also there to let you understand that the time of such forgetfulness/ignorance has passed now at this point of your life

the flower will stay as an undying memory from now on
in your mind
it is also from now on up to you
to make it a gift or not

I understood what the other flowers meant when they said I should not worry
I was sorry like a child for the first time because as a child I used to talk to flowers silently – listen to them like a friend …

that flower gifted me back a dream
that flower became a truth of a dream
that flower that nobody else has ever seen

2014-09-22 18.05.39
 photo by Alin, 2014 

I feel that you’re sleeping

fluid landscapes

fluid landscapes – by Alin, 2015

I feel when you’re sleeping
my breath catches up
the rhythm of your breathing
while my body wonders
before sunset
whether that which
the eye sees
is real or a dream
Fluid landscapes cross the void
as I surrender to the aspiration
deeply immersed in the knowing
of the state of sleep you are in
You may meet me in your dreams
as a girl made of the colorless fumes
shaping branches of a large tree
longing for the fatidic aroma
of strawberry juice
which you may have tasted
but this very subtle point
is beyond
the waking state
at a point
where dreams fade away
at a point where we meet in truth
and breathe
as one
I feel that you’re sleeping

traboule by Alin, 2015

Trika Anu

And we divided
To make love
We celebrate
by our bodies
and gift this dance
to the universe

And I met you 
in the mist
covering endless
where air is thin

You and I
We never speak
in silence 
we meditate
in full awareness
our senses touch

For each one of
Your colorfully
I do as if I am
adoringly in love
in my chosen 
divine roles
to inspire you

I am that 
part of you
or you
of I
or us 
of one
of love

And we divided
to make love

 video,poetry,music and performed by Alin

visceral green (improvisation)

inspired by the Navratri color of 16 Oct 2015
family painting by Pofidik
background monogram by Alin

performed live by the Mockingbird
a creation of dnalumuland

be green
green of my heart
green of the light
green of my emerald
shines like a pearl
at a holy spot
beyond the mind

Pofidik Kek

20151013_173838Pofidik kek

Pofidik is my niece . Wiser than I surely.
Last time I saw her she wrote me a recipe of her own
I asked her to please make it fit on one page of my poetry notebook.
Otherwise I said I will be too confused.
She made it fit exactly on one page! Amazing!
I accordingly tried to make my very first Pofidik cake yesterday
And succeeded Yes! proudly.
Oh so joyfully! and kinda dancingly! guess you are becoming what you make once something is done lovingly.
I guess then time always cooperates or is on your side….
Afterwards also called to thank her.
Pofidik says she likes me most among all other tantes
because I am more like a kid 🙂
a kid while she grows up stays as a kid I guess in a child’s dream.
I decorated the pofidik cakes with eatable flowers 😀

Here is the translation of Pofidik’s Pofidik kek (cake) recipe: Try it!

In a deep large bowl add

2 eggs, 1 pack of baking powder, 1 pack of vanilla,
1 tea glass (Turkish tea glass)   oil (I used olive oil)
add walnuts in a freezer sack and fine crush them and put it aside
take the bowl in front of you
add 6 pieces of bitter (dark /+75% cacao) chocolate
add half cup flour (I used whole-wheat flour)
wash lemon covers well and grate them.
and mix it all
and add it in a baking mold
Cook it at 25 fire (I did that part differently a bit)
You can stick the flowers with chocolate paste or add jam or honey if you like

My Pink Dahlia

‘Shall I go or not
Shall I go or not’

‘You don’t question as such
when the day starts
It ain’t matter
neither of the two
or both
questioning is futile
one is what will be
let the course free
you know it
action shall be the reply
so prepare just
let that course tell you
prepare thoughtless
in silence’

‘Am I not feeling a bit unwell today?
do you think it all is flowing right’

‘or do you want to stop the flow
by thinking about it
prepare just
do as I SAY
Shush now
in silence’

Yoga is not a practice
Yoga is not a state
Yoga is being
there ain’t a teacher other than yourself
and so
I listen to her
do as she says
and it works

the lightness of early morning
is truly other that the pre predicted
experience of I-the body
other than the I – the I
the I -not happy or sad

and once it slips away to
allow me wonder about
a reflection
in a heart shaped metallic ornament
hanging there above
as if smilingly …

if it could have ever been an artwork
or is it just knowing me
in this emptiness
on a mat
facing the colors of chakra flags?
A thought about a reflection
rises in pureness
gently mixes up with the fumes
of the river and disappears

I let go of the thought
I let go of the hint other than one the divine
I let go
of admiration
of beauty
of happiness
of just a reflection

This ‘I let go of let go’

challenges my limitations
to rid myself
of the whatever that needs to be challenged still

I wish to be able to leave
having dissolved expectation
as the sunlight slowly brightens by it
as the stories – old stories-with a spirit
glitter the ancient walls of a canal

makes me somber for a while
a while when I embody an old friend’s mind
he must have been somber seeing this
and so I try to convert it
to its opposite
while sipping my coffee
while knowing opposites
is no solution
on a wheel

but for fun
just an experiment I say
but nothing really changes
other than
‘it’s time! it’s time!’
and the bell
you are running out late!

was a poem in my mind
I read countlessly
without a title
wishing for a dahlia
remembering the rare black
I have seen on a summer solstice

today I look for a flower just
a promised gift for a vase
bearing a child’s heart
that’s why you should find it
or let it find you
or let you find it while it finds you
I don’t really think as such
just cooperate
with the wind
and the rays
and the moment of becoming the gift

and today
I found a flower
in the sunlight

eye to eye with
the one I knew it was
I politely asked
its name
the boy said
a pink dahlia
have a good day madam

the first autumn colored flower
a bit jollier than I would imagine
extravagantly bright shade
for the time

but maybe …the somberness
I recalled before
‘it’s time! it’s time!’
has changed
by my little experiment
of connected minds

I wished him a smile
to return his shining eyes
a shine
which I know
will also return sometime.


I will always write for you

I will always write
for you
if you want me to
you is me
you is he
you is she
you is love

I will always write for you
if you want me to
from my holy cave alone
send you frequency
which you require
to rise  and hold us
in one sacred sphere
made of your light
and my words

I will always write for you
learning not to be affected
let that be my challenge alone
by the tempting thoughts of you
by my body desiring you

not touching that body
not letting it be touched
where I cannot…

in this cave I have sunlight
pools grow
in front
just to nourish me
by your reflection

through melting snow
through dripping droplets
from rain leaves bigger than I
through secret metal hidden in
amalgamous rocks

birds and animals
bring me cherishment
when I play my guitar
and say I cannot play
they manifest
the  vibration of love

such are my words
inspired by your love
hiding a secret gift
I will always write for you

anonymously let it bring you love from all
let it encircle us
us – this world

tiny droplets
most nourishing
water of life
reflect your light

gift me a rainbow hair
at its connected end
once moved
to left and right
hits the walls
of my cave
and reflect us
the  pure crystal echo

an unending sound of our love
inaudible in time

I will always write for you
at the expense of my being pulled
seven levels down
-instead of seven levels up-

I flied endless valleys where wild to calm waters meet the ocean
crossed pine forests and those resembling ones
from other worlds and times
where we come from

I have prayed each and every night
for your healing
while you slept in a bed made of lover’s bosom
hung it from the moon
and painted crystal color stars
in skies for you

trees sheltering your dreams
you slept and slept and slept and slept

while I studied your pure heart unit by unit
and asked it to be reinstalled

I walked my days with your tiredness and pain
at the expense of losing my favorite red gloves
wished peace during your sleep
wished rejuvenation

I gave a flower to my yoga teacher
that will bring you around the world
so that you will heal by joy
so that your healing sprinkle joy
as a Namaste

I will always write for you
you know
if you want me to

you the manifestation of the teacher gifted to me by this new breath
you the shape of my desire which I shall overcome to meet in the land of truth
you whom I shall once more desire freely in supreme consciousness
as supreme consciousness

I will always write for you

photo by Alin, 2015