I still think he knew it but…

as long as I search for justification
I won’t be justified

I always thought he knew it
always!

but only now
just now
the thought rises

it’s my mind

slightly a new
purified version
but still imperfect

although

although the dazzled
has always held the probability that

there was obviously a thin line of a passage

that he may have never known

I ignored knowingly
the probability

the ignoring knowingly
belonged to that thin line of a passage

….
I cannot rely on word of temptation
to drink from a maybe-clean-well

and so
only now
I may justify to set it open
it is (literally) made of the same material
of the heart
set on universe
universe: as my working table
and observed
neutrally

observed as one of these illusions
same as the others
but with a difference :
that
it receives my attention
now
so that with it
a new version of I
deserves an analysis

just to get to know
myself/yourself

without attachment
without expectation
and with courage
and with a possibility
to shed some teardrops:)
yeah even that

it is possible
just to understand

and for nothing else

it is a technology of investigation
and my analysis reveals a truth
a truth of a possibility
where possibility is temporary –
knowing well
it is one of many other possible stories –
and its truth :
the only permanent one

such are Samskaras
wisdom knows we shall not waste time
to speculate where these come from

we are here and now as we are

so
yes
only now
I consciously want to have a glance on this image
from the past

that he might
have
as much as I
never known
what truly was happening that time

while it was happening

not to make him right or wrong
just to understand
why I am analyzing this right now

we were both complaining
about physical heat
I read him back for the first time
and got confronted once again
after all this time

with his beautiful mind

but is that I?
or is that I that is supposed to be
to reread
according to the recipe

of the technology
described above
to understand
the truth of I

my heart knows the answer
and my table shall reveal
for what is left behind
tomorrow
is just a coffee stain

 

photo by Alin, Mumbai  Feb2016
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