Beer For Free

 

Improvised /words and music created on site –
words by Aline and guitar by Robbert van Nispen

Someone dropped my beer
I don’t have it written nowhere (I mean the lyrics!)
Just … he said
“I am so sorry
You may have one for free”

And I thought
And I thought
And I thought

I actually didn’t think
but…

I just said to myself:
That should be Alright
a free beer right?
Why not!
Let’s take it
but No …

He had it reserved for his girlfriend

Hey what a shame!
just a coin – reserved for your girlfriend and
You gave it for free
to me!

I ain’t gonna get that one

No boy
You’re too young for me
and I gave it back to him
I thought it’s better not to…

Just listen
to the music
and let my chances
….
Free

Hey Cowboy!
Are you gonna dance with me?

And then
He played
On and on and on

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As the reflection of the sun and the moon faded away

I said goodbye

she helplessly cried
full of me
for the first time

Teardrops of
the other
by the other
Not to impress
or annoy

the canvas
of the truth of I
remained untouched

but
this uttermost cry was
maybe a cheek warming
silent expression just

in the conscious presence
of both

embraced by both

Goodbye to this roof that welcomed
our dreams…
Goodbye to this roof that
accommodated our flows
cries
highs
ties
pies
spies
allies skies
I s
Eyes
Aiaiai s ….

All of her dramatized stories
that agonize
are
to be capsized
to emphasize –
harmonize –
energize
so that
I s
are re centralized
re authorized
along the curly hum
For the game!
like the newborn tree
growing inside of me now
of
Me ?

me again?!?

but

I need not much of these anymore

and such are all things
that gave breath to us :
the in/sentient
courageously left behind
for a cry that bore generations
and such is her’s now

A means
that helped me grow
towards this no thing thing
and You!

You ?

But you…
…?

An immortalized posture of a shoulder shrug!

Nothing more
and nothing less

You – as love apart
but still with me

by each one of my shoulder shrugs
like the nameless sage of shoulder shrugs

In the western ‘who cares’ style….
We are so good at that!
So …

so ?

Be proud just!
to be commemorated as such

I will Never
pick a wildflower again
to place in my beloved vase
I did it only twice
Shamefully
Watching the truth die
Instantaneously
and no we do not like duality
But there will NOT be a third time
for such sad action
You have my word on that

I walk now alone
content with a song
of a bird welcoming
my accord

Carrying your light
in my heart
Plainness is my courage
I know you now

Your love rains
beads of truth
shaping words
of peace
that I read
incessantly
as us

knowing my duty
I go
go now

Taking nothing
Needing nothing
Leaving all
Things and
Insightful of
no things

I am you
With you
Listening
Just
To these
final
immaculate
droplets
of hers
before she willingly dies.

Matrika Shakti (inner chatter)

You always say
There is reason

But
Really

It was much BETTER
That way

More comfortable

At
The
Peak

Yeah of course!
it’s a habitual mistake
to compare
but
I mean
as long as there are
Means
to compare

It’s much BETTER
This way

Silent and Selfless
Light and Bodiless

Alas!

Yes Alas

For a moment
Just

Yes
I am weak

Feebleness of my
Mind

Debris
made of desirous
words

Pull me down
Sometimes

Again and again

It is just a throb
You know

Happens
by itself

Like two identical
universes

a tic finding its tac

to
tic tac

a living machine
at the crown

Lines
rise
from
Mines
of
The ocean

Where
we get lost in
or I challenge
Myself
for a lonesome swim
a throb
is a past dream

maddening
or
tranquilizing

pulsation

that sometimes
pulls up

You
[or
It

you are it]

better
surrounder
just

If you know
When you know

cause
They say
The high-pitched
cleanses

the boasting mind?

A primordial
melody

clinks in ears

You can listen to
its whizzz
and
Enjoy the itch

No need to relate to
Let it do its work

As long as you
Choose to
….
?
Look at
a past?

Like to have pain?

Should you wish the past
Manifest itself?

It surely will!

You will then need to objectify
and forget about your true self

To be able to relate to these things
Manifest from the past

So you shall then
Bear the pains
Of your object

Take it or
better just leave it

Choice is yours

And come here
right now

and for all that delusive act
The melodrama
of the self

You can only ask justice
from the divinity
in yourself
for yourself

cause
When the time comes
to enter
The gate

The gate
as you know it

And as you have never known

has always been open
before your eyes
but
What’s left ?
For You

for you
only seeing it now
but drop

drop
This heavy weight
At last
And for good

Yeah
Happens by itself

Clicks just

Like an anchor
And Snaps
And pulls

Up

Like a lover
Catching your hand
before you fall
Down the valley
to your death

a passage
of caves

of rocks

Follow the light
If meant to be

Through craquelures

The great Raja awaits
with a face
which you will
Know

but truth is
neither his message
nor your love story –
transgressing
generations

Truth is the silence
Silence that you can only know
when you experience

Silence
eternally dissolving
of words
and
of you

Alas clicks past!

20160211_230405

And so I am sure there is a technical explanation to this
I said to my friend sipping my tea still a bit heartbroken but happy

Happy to have been able to explain such complex matter
in fast – simple – straightforward way
much better than I could have ever done talking about politics or gossiping

He concluded : but my dear you know well we all live simultaneously in many stories all running along parallel planes.

then suddenly this silly invisible pretty dressed girl showed up
with shiny eyes
passionately kissing the guy in the mirror across us

under the same moon which I once scorned so cynically
while I kissed such and such boy first time
for his openness
that the moonlight shall define our act of romance
Etc

My friend’s reply swept away all such last small stains of worry regarding the current story and the past

and made me wish to equate the both as if a masterpiece
such that we have solved all the mystery of … which universe?
A mystery which seems not really happening now more than a flower’s  perception about our existence as pathetic .

I love my friend’s sincere attention and humor
and interest to stimulate the flow of our words:

but then I knew
my life story altered the other day

by his’
in -my -mind


Putting us all in this plane
that runs a version of his’
one of probable ones now
he ?
unknowing

but possibly
because of something I might have done
and can speculate about at this point
just to be able to point at such possibility  

Something totally unrelated to a story that he is experiencing right now
has put us here to discuss this unrelated matter this way at this moment

and such phenomenon is maybe well known to all of us
and might be understandable by most of us

however the probable occurrence of it in the past
could have manifested objectively at this point
as an event that has already occurred in the past
is only because of what I have physically done
even almost at this moment of now!

And  I poured some more in the cup of our mystery before he has even replied

As a result of a wishful thinking! Of course I said
Which is also a result of a contact with pain and sorrow or its reverse

As Sri Krishna explains to Anjuna
‘This is the real meaning of Yoga – a deliverance from contact with pain and sorrow’

Now it is interesting to experience – even before its observation! (and maybe interesting that is the only way of observation here)

that a future act (A)
(if unpleasant to senses->an act  which in nature is disregardful to one’s own inner knowing)

has the power to activate all the means of an  event (X) (X is in the past relative to A)

so that
the event X can occur in the past relative to and because of the future act (A) – but x could have only happened in the past

to be able to manifest itself as the sole version (eX) of a (an unpleasant) story now in this plane.

And only after the discovery
The act of observation is left to us

Because of the receipt of the senses
Of the pleasant or of unpleasant

No
Not really taking them serious
knowing that
I had the capacity to ignore
what truly was important that time!:..:

an inner knowing
that was ignored
just

to touch
a temptation
of a click

opened these
chimaeras
gates

one of which could have devoured us  
if we were not observant at this point

Anyway I guess my skin somehow saves me
and that’s a true speculation LOL!
Making me curious to understand
what the brain cannot
and
only there I knew
we have haunted
what might have never occurred
today

I still think he knew it but…

as long as I search for justification
I won’t be justified

I always thought he knew it
always!

but only now
just now
the thought rises

it’s my mind

slightly a new
purified version
but still imperfect

although

although the dazzled
has always held the probability that

there was obviously a thin line of a passage

that he may have never known

I ignored knowingly
the probability

the ignoring knowingly
belonged to that thin line of a passage

….
I cannot rely on word of temptation
to drink from a maybe-clean-well

and so
only now
I may justify to set it open
it is (literally) made of the same material
of the heart
set on universe
universe: as my working table
and observed
neutrally

observed as one of these illusions
same as the others
but with a difference :
that
it receives my attention
now
so that with it
a new version of I
deserves an analysis

just to get to know
myself/yourself

without attachment
without expectation
and with courage
and with a possibility
to shed some teardrops:)
yeah even that

it is possible
just to understand

and for nothing else

it is a technology of investigation
and my analysis reveals a truth
a truth of a possibility
where possibility is temporary –
knowing well
it is one of many other possible stories –
and its truth :
the only permanent one

such are Samskaras
wisdom knows we shall not waste time
to speculate where these come from

we are here and now as we are

so
yes
only now
I consciously want to have a glance on this image
from the past

that he might
have
as much as I
never known
what truly was happening that time

while it was happening

not to make him right or wrong
just to understand
why I am analyzing this right now

we were both complaining
about physical heat
I read him back for the first time
and got confronted once again
after all this time

with his beautiful mind

but is that I?
or is that I that is supposed to be
to reread
according to the recipe

of the technology
described above
to understand
the truth of I

my heart knows the answer
and my table shall reveal
for what is left behind
tomorrow
is just a coffee stain

 

photo by Alin, Mumbai  Feb2016

Pala Şair

Recreated in 2015 by Alin and thorN

sound & musical composition by thorN
http://www.videodraws.me

video by Alin – dnalumuland

in memory of Pala Şair – the unforgettable poet of Istikal Caddesi in Istanbul who died in 2008. He cooperated to my art project as a poet and an actor in 2005. Thanks to Poet Pala.