The Moonlit Maze

O the sun
break the line of words
that search
to rhyme by words

which pulls you down
far away from me
but
listen just
to this unstruck
sound

our melody
coming from the heart

O bliss

along the path of divine

Like the gaze
one-pointed
which makes one forget
and connect
flawless

to our equipoise

I want to exchange your face
says the moon

and
Sink into your heart
while the remains
of dashes made by skyants
fade
and disappear

while the pale passage of pastels
of blue and reds
flood to sink

the colored deeper
and shrill … almost
burning a cover as if
to the color
of ashes of the mind
before the pitch-black

before the silent conversion
of tones
to dreams

seen at nights
by the inhabitants
of planes
where suns set

and
as objects and things
loose their assigned meanings
before the appearance of that starlight
the one that shines
like your reflection on this world

to illuminate this gift of ours

Then shall I rise again
in hearts
of all
as one

a shine of a pearl
your love manifests
objectless

expands
a heart
made of our breath

to lead the path of
what used to be a maze

clear are the lines
through the Crystalline
of your knowing

Come she says
be my gleam
so you can smile
to the meditating ones
that welcome our phase
in many ways

You and I
Breath to breath
We gave life to each other
You and I
Breath to breath
Born from each other

.
moonlit, the maze
reshapes
by our breath
a crystal

seed of a heart
expands
objectless

along the hearts
of all meditating ones

O joy of awareness !
O sound of bliss !
O path of knowing!

rises

beyond hearing
to welcome the phase
of our repose
in various ways

As sound fades
and becomes unmoved
objects loose their assigned meanings

We appear then as one
and
wed all cities
of dreamers
to a dreamless dream
of joy

We
gave breath to each other
We
born from each other.

20170512_173959
drawing with pencil on paper by Alin
meditative drawing

The Wish of the Bride (Duchamp’s)

The story starts with an end

The true shape of the circle
made of his final word
concludes it – and
The knowing
completed my task today with an inner smile
immortalizing
the image of You and I –

A secret now
in the heart of You and I.

He worded that one sentence
– the Key
as a poetic response to our secret conversation from other worlds
and made it hearable here
to me
through a lover’s mouth

before the farewell of the
time-bound

where we embraced
our bodies fully by togetherness in this short but essential period
for the teaching
to be received and delivered

which also prescribed its test afterwards during which he disappeared and I know he wouldn’t have appeared if I have failed the test :
by not understanding the test being a test

because here once you know you shall never fail knowingly.

There is not any wasted time in action (and “no action” is also action )

when you know only the experience is what counts
when you know all experience is for one divine purpose
and act accordingly
there is nothing much to be done in reality

Whatever happens and does not happen
is the same when once painted by thoughts and words governing the senses.
You should be attentive to that – not to be attached and diverted from your divine path -or the truth of the self.

All is known already
once you choose to be the knower
which is a choiceless choice.

The purpose you came here for …
Actualize that purpose
by action and knowledge
functioning together
for this great love

You can’t now loose it for one moment anymore and let yourself be carried away by another wave.
Waves are there and will be
that’s the nature of the manifestation in your perception.

so cherish that as the gift of the experient then you have become it:
all at once
the wave , the experient, the tide
as the one
as the only one
The enjoyer of all
As should be!

Nothing as outside of you
apart from you
but within you

this whole universe.

I have met him after such a heat wave at the door of a cafe across the palace designed to be a crown on his head.

I had a glass of water for the great view and he said I am also going to the temple for flowers
Can I please walk with you
so we walked together first to
where I have already been
For Flowers

then again to
where I have already been-
for … viewing peace side by side

This was an old haveli
the secret one – in the middle of the churning city-
wherein I wanted to be just
to just be
for its silence

and he preyed
He knew how to prey
as if

I smiled to a devotion pulpating the eyes by the gulping of words and looked at him
His youth or an act or …

Looked to see whence the body while such a face . Was it for me?
or for the God or for himself?
Later I understood these 3 were the same
so a yes to all!

and there was more to it
He only knew the God that he preyed to
was himself only when I didn’t know that he knew
so we were connected by such a strange link As an instrument
so that things greater than our bodies and minds could function as they should

although I could conceptualize all these through my underestimated devotion

I experienced this truely only after finding out I too was standing there beside him as an unseperable part
Same as him.

so we have met to solve a mutual issue
as if

Issue I
call it
Maybe you know teachings that give it an appropriate name?
But what is a word?

On my 3rd day before we made our story true and drove through
the night to dance our dance – (He was a dancer)
we met at the stairway of the temple which we both have seen only from the moon.

A dog which I thought I almost knew was leading us
to your abode of light and knowledge

There he prayed again
For me For himself and for the God

Without any second thoughts I followed him at my best

He knew
he knew
who this inner teacher is

I bowed to his thanks
with a thanks

The gesture was a formula
Not for the sake of our perishable shells –
but by means of…

I bowed
for allowing me to tell the teaching
to him
A teaching that became the stairs of the temple and made us climb while at times he stopped to kiss me
I did not really appreciate
on the path of meditation
but then again
It came in small doses like a big joy after pain to my doubting mind.

He was silenced after the visit
walking down hand in hand.
In full confidence
having no expectation
unfolding naturally
what converted to a prayer.

We have set the sun together that day
Because of his wish

heard by the Sun

Do make it true for him if his wish is true
I also preyed for him
A true wish is what should be experienced for the glory of you two
O the Moon and the Sun
without words by two of us
We shall perform it for you.

O venerable teacher
do make such wish of love true only if it is for the glory of you
Because You are for all

And with the manifestation of the shape of my desire in a tale of golden deserts and blue flowers I dived towards the night
in full speed with him.

Only then I received the key:
It could come true if I would turn to
the light of the wind of the night with him
because he wanted this to happen so much so that A flame hidden in the heart could be lit by us

We became the wind that made shapes from this light in a multiverse hiding the true total shape of a crown (hiding from those eyes who cannot see the obvious because of identification with unfulfilled desires nursing themselves by temporary enjoyments through screens)

And Everything happened as it should be.

Love Cry

here was you first
and ever after
but
yesterday
I made a yesterday

sleepless
reanimated
residues of a past
and woke up
in an enchanting sky
of a place
where I want to be
now

I said thank you
looking through

We were this blissful rue
made of pastel tones of pink blue
something pale and light
but still and still

blew face to face
me one side of the hue
you the other side as if
if we could have kissed
the sky would become true

I said thank you again
but
you
started fading
moving farther
away from me

you are alright now
you said
ready to go up

I cried
only that moment
realized

I will never be able to touch you again
I will never be able to see you again
I will never be able to miss and paint for you again
I will never fear and hide under the blanket of your love again

and I cried
unknowingly
unstoppable tears
became rivers on landscapes
me cheekless
an aura just

why then do I cry I asked
are you sure I am ready?
are you sure the emotions
neutralized already?

you said
you don’t cry alone
see this crystal teardrop

you crystalized a teardrop
to show me that
my desire for you
is pure
pure enough to go
for us both

for us to be apart as such
is unbearable
for us face to face
as two auras just
made by our own minds
until we would realize
you are I and I is you
shape of you is in my mind only

I looked through the crystal
and saw the most beautiful bloom

you said
this is not yours only

this is a shared teardrop

when you cry it is I that cries
when I cry it is you that cries

and you left

I saw
my body reshaping
in the lightness of the dark
and felt that body
complete
for the first time
again and again
after  the last time
as if
ages ago

how long has it been we were in exile?

questions disappeared traceless

No we don’t wonder
in our completeness

you were
my green lines
I was your red lines
contouring one line body
in each other transcendentally

I awoke
opened my eyes
in an inaugural
poetic physical balance
feeling us in the chest
us filling the chest
eternally
lovingly
non separately
we became one

and looked around
a room we stood in
two trees outside
being shaken
by the storm
endlessly moving
tough

however tough
even these branches
were surprised
seeing us
in one
as one

while they were rooted as two
while they knew to see
us as two
generations long
they mumbled
and Now!

Now
we are  shockingly anew
so much so that
they stopped
got truly tough
first time
because of us
and kept it still  
like a rock
against the wind

like  a Ssshhh after a blast
engraved over the window glass
to be able to see us

Storm continued
in its furious Godliness just
as required

title is inspired by :
Four  Tet – Love Cry

 

Iridescence

I meet you in a globule
beyond worlds – beyond perception – beyond body
and mind

I meet you there
in our melodic silence
inside an uncollapsible sphere
to continually refract our
illuminating plain light
and reflect
along the perpetually
manifesting membrane
of our ever evolving  
ever changing
color codes

when we imagine we make love
endless coordinate points join
to sculpt this dream
it is visible along this subtle interface
as the fugitive perpetual color
of true love

I come here and see you just
inside the divinity made by us

you and I on a brow we are
beyond the eyes we shall always meet
as the complementary formula
evenly made anew by you and I
and  here we have always been
axiomatically you are I

so let’s forget and return to our lives again
on this plane we shall write the experience
peacefully apart  in each other’s presence
to gravitate and untouchably reshape  
our garments which shall be dropped someday
not as a fate

in the hub of this supreme orb
made of the sound of our eternal peak
we are as if two separate selves
trails of my illusory dance
shape all your dream girls
until that all fades
like in the true blue of the sky
all in one I am now for you

and you

you do for each of I
as if you are
you …you …you

of all and with whom
I am in love

laiiilaaooouuvvvvuuuoaaaa

ink and watercolors on canvas - AIR #3-(Augmented Irradiations 3-1) 35x27 cm

ink and watercolors on canvas – AIR #3-(Augmented Irradiations 3-1) 35×27 cm

I was falling in full speed
lured and pulled by
thoughts of
“I love you” s 

engraved
along the edges of sharp rocks
of some unknown grounds

“i love you” s
animated inside out 
of a delusioning  
concave-convex shape

you don't know 
by which one 
you were 
in or out 
of 
“i love you  uuuuuuuoooooaaaaaaaaa”

however 
as I approached 

the ouuuuuuuuoooooaaaaaaaaa 
part of y 
started 
getting bigger 
and larger 

ready to gobble me in one go
by the shape of the sound
engraved
lost or blind
foggy or dark
suddenly
through the deafening speed
or storm 


I heard someone repeatedly say:

'wish
for
time sleep
only

wish
for
time sleep
only'

and so
I wished
for time sleep 
only

while learning
what it means
to wish for
one thing
only


swiftly 
I got pulled up

by a cloud 

then 
by the friends 
of the cloud

All constituting a blessed chorus 
of clouds
singing something like:

'Noooooo
s/heeeeeee
loves youuuu 
naaaaaaaaat 
but youuuu'

however I wishfully imagined it to be something like:

'No it’s s/he that loves youuuu but not you' :D 

flattering the remains of my ego
but neither of the two was what they were really telling
they were singing to make a shape!

a shape that I could be placed in safely
a shape that could ideally form
at a point :
when rainbows know that they are being 
wished for 
and show up on the surface of a sphere
and
my voice would serve to become the seal of the gap
and 
that could even effortlessly freeze a soap bubble!!

wow!
“I am slowly getting it”  I said

as I approached
and as the micro units to the crash
got doubled then tripled 

you know how it goes 
as he (or a thing or h or x or i ) approaches to zero

my breathlessness diminishes

and I slowly perceive the truth
of the words  dreamily saying :

'who are  youuuu
who are youuuu'

and  ingeniously making a curly shape 
with the form of the sound of the 
'whoareyou' s
connecting one edge of the sound to the other 
until it could sound like 
'I am you' !


so when the “who are you”s
got equal to 
'i am you'  s
and
when and where
again ingeniously
all the “he” s in 
'he loves you'
got equaled to 
“I” (` I love I)

That point
became a coordinate
of a perfect bubble 
which I got placed in
and pulled up 

and so that all
happened
just before the crash
and 
just before the crash
I became something 
Lighter
Stronger
Jollier

and joined to their song 
Casually
Bubbly
as the lead 

singing with a sound
between a squeak 
and a Hum

only and thoughtlessly an 
'I love you'
which in reality must have sounded
something like:
laiiilaaooouuvvvvuuuoaaaa
like a fish bubble

matching to 
- as I said before -
each “you” of ‘I love you’  
to an  “I”  (` I love I)

while embracingly
all the “you” bubbles got replaced by the “I”s 
 
the winds got balanced
to a black haired
blue dressed 
ancient wind goddess
performing the dance of
fierce fun for fun 
and shaping the wind

Fun continued 
until I became it  again 

then 
a shine 
on and of 
a bubble

dematerializing
all the whatever
I seemed to have been  made of

getting rid of the remains of 
the trace 
amounts of heavier elements
(and keeping
those that which has the ability
to hold me together authentically by my own gravity)

I got hydrogenized

and pulled up
by a parachute
strumming in 6/8s
manifesting nude 
diminishing
the duality
I crossed layers
of loving
clouds
until

until
it all stopped
some darkness
followed up
beyond skies 
beyond sounds
beyond forms
as if I lost sight
for a moment just
until I crossed
an imaginary ray
from a child’s gaze’s
descriptive point of view
about 
a billionth unit
light years away
twinkling colors
of
an unnamed
star I am
whose
music continues
while
Silence remains

Trika Anu



And we divided
To make love
We celebrate
by our bodies
and gift this dance
to the universe

And I met you 
in the mist
covering endless
landscapes
where air is thin

You and I
We never speak
in silence 
we meditate
in full awareness
our senses touch

For each one of
Your colorfully
numberless
appearances
I do as if I am
adoringly in love
in my chosen 
divine roles
to inspire you

while 
we
both
know 
I am that 
complete
part of you
or you
of I
or us 
of one
of love

And we divided
to make love
just



 video,poetry,music and performed by Alin

A Tale of I

written, spoken, images, video, sound, edits and performed  by Alin Diraduryan

full text as written and sound recording is below:

Because I am

there is no
what is
where I am
when I am

because I am.

but
I am
is not
because …of

when
where
what
I cannot be questioned
I cannot bear a gap
between I and I

Love

true love
only love
just love

love love

when love is
love love

he and she

living on
distinct time
are entangled

their feel
of
perpetuity
is mutual

but once
there was
a story
about a  s/he

when s/he –

once
desire -s
for
-he and she-

a separation occurs

designing
-light years away from each other-
twin particles
of opposite charges

each living on another star
she conceives
much after
she gives birth

she gives birth
long before
they make love

to he
he : her true love
and she : the daughter of he

face
the accusation
that
loops the
fears
of the mundane
of conditionings
of the hidden
and stolen
human powers

not about them
becoming
half of one
but
the faulty was prescribed
for the sake of faultiness

to point at death
or of cycle creation

triggered by
the ejaculated shape
to become one matter
within the object of gravity

a living particle
they desired for

without knowing
what they desired for

it reshaped only while they desired
and they desired only while it reshaped

through the illusion of the visualized
through the precipitation of the finite
within the visualized

and yet
something escaped
as predicted

it was saved within the pure memory of the universe

to make more of its delusive particles
as nature goes

limiting eternal awareness
of the feminine and masculine oneness
dividing holiness into two
detaching mortal from the eternal awareness
dividing the divine into two

the method of nature’s flow
the method is pure
the method of nature’s flow
the method actions by their call
to make them one again
turning the cycle of
he got born from her
or she from his love
she remained immaculate
by the time
nobody knew only the moment of the birth
brought the godessness and the godliness to one

Newton’s apple fell on someone’s head
before the stumbled hit the ground
he saw the shooting star
it was there only because of the moment’s observation
not because of him
not because of the apple
not because the start really was there
nobody knew
he didn’t know
only we know

your memory makes the object of subject for him
for his romance
or tragedy of fall

He
does not exist until you build
him
through the object of these words

beware oh
before naively putting words on universe
creating temporary images
on pure memory
little films living in a puff
to come and go at a place that does not exist even

beware oh
before creating bars of our cage by thought born words
beware for ourselves
see until when you want be on exile as such
in the deserts of an ant’s abdominal heart
see until there is nothing to see

then be
because that’s all you can
because that’s all you are
because I is free

spoken version: